Open Letter To Chipotle

10 Aug

Dear Chipotle:

Below are a few of my suggestions for your dining establishment.  Please take them into consideration because I think they could make the dining experience at your restaurant that much more enjoyable.

  1. Price By Weight: You see, I could care less how much worthless white rice you fill my bowl with.  On the other hand, I do care how much deliciously marinated chicken you decide to let me have.  Sometimes I get generous helpings, other times I get spoonfuls so measly I have to politely ask for more and usually always get a grumble or two from your hard-working bowl/burrito preparers.  It’s okay; I don’t take it personally.  But on to the point:  please consider pricing your meat by weight.  I am aware it is the most expensive ingredient in your masterpieces and you should be paid fairly for such savory protein.  For the other goodies, allow us addicts to add double beans, half rice, light on the lettuce, extra salsa, etcetera, etcetera as we like for a set fee – say two or three dollars?  This process change will allow us consumers to create an epic burrito/bowl concoction that we’ve only lusted for in our dreams.  Please help us make it a reality.
  2. First-Time Visitor Line: Do us all a favor and create a segregated line for first-time visitors.  Trust me, it’s for the best for all Chipotle customers.  Chipotle virgins always arrive nervous and flustered as it is.  Do I want a burrito or a bowl?  Or a soft taco?  (It’s disgraceful to order a soft taco at Chipotle.)  What’s barbacoa?  Black or pinto? (Go black, you’ll never go back.)  Do I ask for the rice?? I think I want chicken, but maybe I should try steak???  You get the idea.  They’re confused and who can blame them?  We were all uncertain first-timers at some point.  On the other hand, seasoned burrito lovers know exactly what they want and can rattle it off without a second thought and don’t you dare short me on my side of guacamole!  Seriously, consider the second line.  Don’t think of it as discrimination, think of it more as initiation.
  3. Self-Serve: As an addendum to item number 1, please consider letting us serve ourselves.  As mentioned in item number 2, we know we want exactly 21 nuggets of chicken – no more, no less.  Take the stress off your bowl assembly line and allow the real experts to create the works of art.  Then, train leftover assembly line workers as extra cooks.  You’ll need a much higher rate of chicken turnover now that your operations are going to be more efficient than ever.  It’ll work.  I’ve gotta feeling.

I hope that you’ll take my suggestions into consideration.  I have spent many hours deep in thought over my own bowls pondering the items above.  They come from heart because I only want what’s best for you and me.

Sincerely,

Chicken Burrito Bowl With Extra Black Beans And Less White Rice Lover

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12 Responses to “Open Letter To Chipotle”

  1. Little Miss Moneybags August 10, 2010 at 6:18 pm #

    I totally agree with #1 and #3! I can’t eat all three tacos that come with the soft taco order on their menu. If I order two, they totally stuff them and it’s still too much food. If I order one, they skimp on everything, and I’m still hungry. I can’t win.

  2. Leege August 10, 2010 at 6:24 pm #

    Well you hit the nail on the head here – I whole heartedly agree. My boyfriend lived down the street from THE original Chipotle in Denver. When he moved to MA (because he loves me and public accounting so much) after college, he was not impressed with the ‘sub par’ meal he received. Needless to say, he keeps going back just hoping it gets better (but still the disappointment reigns on).

    My pet peeve is unrelated to the business and more how people pronounce Chipotle. It’s Chi-pote-lay I feel like the grammar police when people say “Chi-pol-tay” and I correct them, but it must be done 🙂

  3. me in millions August 10, 2010 at 6:43 pm #

    excellent post. and timely… since today i won FREE chipotle for my whole office. those drop your card in the bucket things really do work!

  4. quarterlifegirl August 10, 2010 at 6:46 pm #

    Brilliant ideas, I must say. lol.

  5. savvysavingbytes August 10, 2010 at 8:23 pm #

    That food is too spicy for me. but I really liked your open letter. It was fun and sounded sensible too.

  6. Frugalista August 10, 2010 at 8:56 pm #

    Never been to Chipotle…but I always hear about it! And now I’m really curious

  7. Ella August 11, 2010 at 7:00 am #

    Awesome letter! I usually take the vegetarian and really wish they would add more than a spoonful of the veggies. Like you said, I wouldn’t mind paying a little extra for those!

  8. Vast Anthology August 11, 2010 at 10:28 am #

    Awesome post! I love Chipotle. Big fan of this blog (and your posts on money under 30). Congrats on your new workspace and on passing the CPA exam! woo hoo! 🙂

  9. Bonnie August 12, 2010 at 11:06 am #

    I found out recently that you can order fewer than three tacos!! Yes! I always thought three was too many, too. But you can order two, or even one, I would assume. And Carrie–I love my soft tacos! 🙂

    • Carrie August 12, 2010 at 11:37 am #

      he he…sorry. I guess people really like their soft tacos. My bad! 🙂

  10. Stacey Paradise August 17, 2010 at 8:52 am #

    I love the soft tacos too! It’s like heaven in my mouth! I also love the burrito bowl, but lately I’m obsessed with the chicken soft tacos.

  11. kcnative30 August 18, 2010 at 6:26 pm #

    Love the post and now I’m hungry.

    Sincerely,

    Chicken fajita burrito, no beans and rice, pico, corn, sour cream, lettuce, cheese and guac 🙂

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