Tag Archives: Chipotle

Open Letter To Chipotle

10 Aug

Dear Chipotle:

Below are a few of my suggestions for your dining establishment.  Please take them into consideration because I think they could make the dining experience at your restaurant that much more enjoyable.

  1. Price By Weight: You see, I could care less how much worthless white rice you fill my bowl with.  On the other hand, I do care how much deliciously marinated chicken you decide to let me have.  Sometimes I get generous helpings, other times I get spoonfuls so measly I have to politely ask for more and usually always get a grumble or two from your hard-working bowl/burrito preparers.  It’s okay; I don’t take it personally.  But on to the point:  please consider pricing your meat by weight.  I am aware it is the most expensive ingredient in your masterpieces and you should be paid fairly for such savory protein.  For the other goodies, allow us addicts to add double beans, half rice, light on the lettuce, extra salsa, etcetera, etcetera as we like for a set fee – say two or three dollars?  This process change will allow us consumers to create an epic burrito/bowl concoction that we’ve only lusted for in our dreams.  Please help us make it a reality.
  2. First-Time Visitor Line: Do us all a favor and create a segregated line for first-time visitors.  Trust me, it’s for the best for all Chipotle customers.  Chipotle virgins always arrive nervous and flustered as it is.  Do I want a burrito or a bowl?  Or a soft taco?  (It’s disgraceful to order a soft taco at Chipotle.)  What’s barbacoa?  Black or pinto? (Go black, you’ll never go back.)  Do I ask for the rice?? I think I want chicken, but maybe I should try steak???  You get the idea.  They’re confused and who can blame them?  We were all uncertain first-timers at some point.  On the other hand, seasoned burrito lovers know exactly what they want and can rattle it off without a second thought and don’t you dare short me on my side of guacamole!  Seriously, consider the second line.  Don’t think of it as discrimination, think of it more as initiation.
  3. Self-Serve: As an addendum to item number 1, please consider letting us serve ourselves.  As mentioned in item number 2, we know we want exactly 21 nuggets of chicken – no more, no less.  Take the stress off your bowl assembly line and allow the real experts to create the works of art.  Then, train leftover assembly line workers as extra cooks.  You’ll need a much higher rate of chicken turnover now that your operations are going to be more efficient than ever.  It’ll work.  I’ve gotta feeling.

I hope that you’ll take my suggestions into consideration.  I have spent many hours deep in thought over my own bowls pondering the items above.  They come from heart because I only want what’s best for you and me.

Sincerely,

Chicken Burrito Bowl With Extra Black Beans And Less White Rice Lover