Brody Jenner’s Career

After last night’s long-awaited debut of the sixth – and “final” – season of The Hills, I found myself wondering how exactly these spoiled reality show stars make a living.  Sure, they get paid ridiculous amounts to act like tools on TV and make out with their hussied-up “co-stars”, but after all is said and done, what are their real careers?

Take Brody Jenner for example.  Brody’s character on the show is the token good-looking guy that every girl fights over.  I’ll admit, I’ve found myself ogling over his boyish good looks from time to time.  But aside from his “job” on the show I’m not exactly sure what he’s qualified to do.

He obviously comes from good genes.  His dad is the infamous Olympic decathlon gold-medal winner, Bruce Jenner.  Bruce also happens to star in a recurring role on another hit reality show that you may have heard of called “Keeping up with Kim the Kardashians”.  But the difference between the two Jenner’s roles is that you can tell that Bruce knows that his reality stardom is a bunch of crap.  I have a bit of a soft spot for Bruce even though he did almost succumb to the Hollywood pressures with all that facial surgery (not a good move, Bruce).  In my opinion, he’s the funniest and most relatable person on KUWTK.  It could be because he actually has a real job aside from the show – motivational speaker – or that he is the only voice of reason in the Kardashian house (which I admit, is probably a pretty easy position to come by among those loony girls).

Anyways, back to Brody.  Seriously, what does he do?  His Wikipedia page claims that he has three occupations.  Guess what they are?  Wait for it…. wait…. for….. it……

• Model
• TV Personality
• Socialite (!!!!!!!!)

I think I heard once that he was into modeling, but I’ve never actually seen him model in anything.  And, socialite?!  Since when did that become an occupation?!  I am astonished by how jaded Hollywood is to actually *think* that a SOCIALITE is an occupation. 

After The Hills is over, what will he do with himself?  How will he make money?  Will he fall back on his socialite certifications and training to support himself and his family?  Maybe he’ll write a book about how to be a socialite?  (Sadly, I think Paris Hilton has already beat him to the punch.)

Well, good luck with all that, Brody.  I am sure that your socialite career will make you quite prosperous in the years to come.

Warm Weather Delights

Kansas City has been experiencing some outrageous weather lately.  Not outrageous in a horrible-6 inches-of-snow-on-the-first-day-of-spring-way, but outrageous in the 80-degrees-and-sunny-everyday-makes-me-so-happy sort of way.

Here are all the ways I’ve (and sometimes Lloyd joins, too) been enjoying this fabulous weather:

• getting my run (and tan) on outside (adios boremill treadmill)
• studying on the deck
• drinking wine on the deck
• chatting on the phone on the deck
• perusing the interwebs on the deck
• surveying the general neighborhood debauchery – which mainly includes little kids riding their scooters up and down the street and our neighbors taking their dogs out – from our deck
• pretty much doing anything and everything on the deck
• walking about a mile to the liquor store for some wine and then being totally embarrassed to walk the mile back with a big, brown bag in our hands (we received glares from passing drivers and impressed nods from other walkers)
• biking really fast along the trails in KC because I’m paranoid some freak is going to jump out of the bushes, steal me, take me far away, and make me his/her personal slave (note to any weirdos out there: I am armed and dangerous)
• taking walks at night (tip to the guys: one of the best dates in my humble opinion)

Here are the ways we have not been enjoying the fabulous weather:

• not going to the park for a romantic picnic because Lloyd would rather watch the Masters (I watched a bit too, but was really just looking for more planes flying overhead with funny messages directed at no golfer in particular)
• That’s about it.  I tried to convince Lloyd to spend the day at the park last week and he promptly turned me down at least 5 times.  Fail.

How have you all been enjoying this fabulous weather?

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If you’re reading this post from a feed reader, feel free to come over and check out the actual site since I’ve updated the layout this week.  Nothing too special, just a bit of a change.  Hope you like. 🙂

Jamiroquai May Have Been On To Something

Here’s the deal.  Smart phones – they freak me out.  I don’t get them and I never want one.  However, I seem to be the only person on the planet not raving about these so-called “phones”.

Everyone’s got their iPhones and their Crackberrys with their BBMs and those nosy calorie-counting apps.  Guess what I’ve got – an actual telephone (you’re welcome Mr. Alexander Graham Bell).

Want to send me a picture text?  Won’t happen.  My phone actually rejects picture texts.  I didn’t even set that feature up; my phone – knowing my easy-to-please preferences – actually took it upon itself to start rejecting picture texts.  That’s fine by me because my phone company likes to charge me for every cute picture that my friends send to me.

Internet?  Don’t have it.  Touch Screen?  Not on this phone.  Fancy Apps?  Nope.

However, my phone does boast some very practical and necessary features:

• phone calls (received, dialed, and missed)
• text messages (limit of 300)
• SPEAKER phone (could not live without)
• calculator
• scheduler
• voicemail (a little tedious, but helpful nonetheless)
• phonebook

Look, I’m not disagreeing with those of you who have these fancy-schmancy phones.  In fact, I think my kind is a dying breed and I’ll probably have to succumb to the age of the Smart Phones eventually (which by the way, does that name freak anyone else out a bit?  I mean….they are just phones…or are they?).

Back in the good 'ol days.

 I just prefer my tried and true, old-fashioned telephone.  I spend 8 hours chained to a computer all day.  On top of that, I come home after work and spend another several hours on the computer studying.  Sometimes I feel like I live and breathe a virtual (insanity?) life – having a phone that is merely that allows me to break free from the electronic world and actually enjoy life.

How much does a Smart Phone run these days anyway?  I’m sure they can be found for a discounted price, but my beat-up Rumor phone that you see up there has served me well for almost 2 years and only cost a whopping $18 (damn you Sprint and your crafty “activation fees”).

In addition to the outlandish prices, I’m assuming most Smart Phones must be set up with a data and internet plan.  Otherwise, what’s the point of even having one?  Not the Rumor though.  I survive on 200 anytime minutes and 300 text messages per month.  No extras for me please, just the old stand-by calling and messaging plan.

I totally get the appeal of having the internet on your phone.  I could see how it would be fun to update my twitter from, say, my car on the drive to work, or at the gym, or out to dinner, or at the grocery store….wait, that doesn’t sound too much more exciting than my current tweets…

While many people (my best friends and Lloyd included) now prefer to carry around a virtual world in their purse or pocket, I prefer to leave mine at home on my desk where it should be.

I don’t need an iPhone; I’ve got myPhone.

So, tell me: do you swear by the Smart Phones?  What kind of phone do you use?  If you prefer the fancy phones, tell me why!  Are there any of you who are like me and prefer the old-school, one function phones?

(source)

RIP Little Guy

I saw a dog get hit by a car on the highway on Easter night.

I was driving home from Easter dinner at a relative’s house.  Lloyd was in a different car and had stopped to get gas, so he wasn’t anywhere around me.

It was about 7:30 p.m. and it was still completely light outside (I guess Daylight Savings Time isn’t so bad after all…).

As I was driving down the highway, I saw a bevy of break lights in front of me.  I may have dropped a few four-letter words directed towards the cars in front of me for their pointless breaking.  What can I say, I’m jaded by the bad drivers who trot along at 60 MPH in the fast lane.

But, before I knew it, I came up on the little animal that was causing all the break lights.  The poor doggie look confused and was running back and forth trying to get out of the way.  All I could think to do was lay on my horn in hopes that it would run the dog towards the edge of the highway.

Luckily, I didn’t hit the dog, but I couldn’t pull my eyes away from the little guy in my rear-view mirror.

For those of you that don’t know me, I am probably one of the most hopeful people ever.  I tell Lloyd that Kansas will win the National Title every year (I think we have a good shot next year).  I go to bed every night thinking the weathermen will be wrong and that it will be a fabulous 70 degrees and sunny the next day.  I never think anything bad will happen – I always think the best outcome will happen.  Naive? Maybe.  But I like to think of it as my wine glass being half full.

So when a car behind me hit the dog, I couldn’t believe my eyes.  I shouted and immediately pulled over.  Never mind the fact that I was hauling down the highway at 70 MPH.  All I could think about was saving the dog.

The people that hit the dog had pulled over, too.  The guy that got out was sporting suspenders and the height of what I estimated to be an 80 year old man.  He was no help and mostly just rude to me.  He told me the dog made the wrong decision.  Obviously, debating over the decision-making skills of the dog wasn’t high on my priority list.

I wanted to search in the brush along the highway for the dog.  But, I was alone and in shorts and a tank top and didn’t want some weirdo to pull over and offer to “help” me.

I wanted to find the dog, see if it was injured and take it to the vet.  I didn’t want the dog to suffer.  Or if the dog was already dead, I wanted to check for a collar so I could call the owners because they’re no doubt devastated that their dog had run away on Easter day.

After I conversed with the old dude (who really didn’t seem like he should be on the road in the first place), I sort of realized my surroundings.  I was barely off the edge of the highway and there were cars zooming past me at 80 MPH.  My hair and clothes were flying around me in the wake of the cars.  I walked back to my car, called Lloyd, and starting bawling.  I was hoping he could come and stop with me and we could look for the dog.  He told me it wasn’t safe to be on the edge of the highway and that I should start driving away.

It sucked.

I keep playing the situation over in my head.  What if I could have pulled over immediately and called the dog to the side of the highway?  Doesn’t that seem ridiculous?  It does, but I wish I could have done something.  It poured rain the next day and all I could think about was the dog laying there next to the highway.   I was so delirious that I don’t even really remember where the dog was hit on the highway.  I just keep wishing that Lloyd and I would have been together so that we could have stopped together and found the dog.

I feel so guilty.  I know it’s not my fault, but dogs hold a special place in my heart.  Dogs are the sweetest creatures.  They love you even when you’re mad or sad.  They give you kisses even if you have morning breath. 😉

I would have spent money to help the dog live or at least have a painless death.  That’s the kind of thing that you can’t budget for, but I wouldn’t even have had a second thought when I handed over my credit card for that innocent little guy.

Anyways, I just hope that he had a painless death or is some sort of super dog and managed to walk away unscathed.  If not, RIP little guy.

I’d Rather Be At “The Fat Pelican”

TGIF!  Humor me while I ramble on about life….

I’ve been tossing around ideas for Lloyd and I’s summer vacay this year.  We usually go somewhere once a year (last year we broke even in Vegas and the year before that we spent a week in a strange little beach town in North Carolina where we discovered our favorite little hole-in-the-wall bar, quaintly named “The Fat Pelican”…but I digress).

I’m tossing around the ideas of Miami, Mexico, or Los Angeles.  I’ve got a little obsession with celebrity gossip (who I’m I kidding, Perez Hilton is my homepage) and would love to see if I could spot Lauren Conrad in a tiff with Franken-Heidi Heidi Montag on the streets of L.A.  However, the beaches of Miami and Mexico are calling my name as well.  Stick a cool beverage in my hand on a sunny beach and I’ll be happy for a week.

So…I ask you readers, where would you go for summer vacation this year if you were me?

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My finances?  The finances are doing good.  I’ve recently started experiencing some good ole Catholic guilt (as Lloyd calls it) with my tithing amounts.  I’d love to tithe 10%, but what exactly is 10%?  10% before or after taxes?  Or 10% after all necessary expenses?  I’m going to start donating more to the church until I feel a light stretch.  Maybe then I’ll know how much is right?

I also started a Roth IRA, but some weird part of me feels sad that the money isn’t going directly into my 401K account anymore.  I guess I liked having my office do all the work for me. 😉  Better work on automating that IRA contribution.

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The CPA?  Still taking over my life.  My study schedule is….going.  I am having trouble motivating myself to study every night when the weather is so glorious outside, but I know I just have to do it.  My plan is to take the last test the day before the next Sex & The City movie comes out (May 28, 2010 if you guys are wondering….these kinds of dates are what I plan my life around).  Anyways, I’m like 1/5 of the way through the book – Woot!  Only 4/5 more to go….!

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Lloyd and I are looking forward to Easter this weekend.  It’s gonna be a great weekend with all of our church friends and family and hopefully on Monday morn I’ll feel pretty darn holy. 😉  Any of you hitting up church this weekend?

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Oh – since my last post, I’ve been hitting up the gym like I used to!  My bod is thanking me and I’m thanking myself because my, er, work pants were starting to feel a little snug.  They feel much better now.  Me + sweat, we make a good team.

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So, I know my posting has been rather lack-luster lately.  When I get the time to write after everything else, I find myself just wanting to sit around and watch that crazy Kardashian show relax instead.  I could start posting less about finance and more about life type things until the CPA is over with and I have more time to focus on drumming out outrageously fabulous personal finance articles (exaggeration…sort of).

Are you guys wanting more life postings or are you okay with the (mostly) dead air until the CPA is over with?  Lemme know!

And…I’m out!

Have a great Easter weekend, readers!