Open Letter To Chipotle

Dear Chipotle:

Below are a few of my suggestions for your dining establishment.  Please take them into consideration because I think they could make the dining experience at your restaurant that much more enjoyable.

1. Price By Weight: You see, I could care less how much worthless white rice you fill my bowl with.  On the other hand, I do care how much deliciously marinated chicken you decide to let me have.  Sometimes I get generous helpings, other times I get spoonfuls so measly I have to politely ask for more and usually always get a grumble or two from your hard-working bowl/burrito preparers.  It’s okay; I don’t take it personally.  But on to the point:  please consider pricing your meat by weight.  I am aware it is the most expensive ingredient in your masterpieces and you should be paid fairly for such savory protein.  For the other goodies, allow us addicts to add double beans, half rice, light on the lettuce, extra salsa, etcetera, etcetera as we like for a set fee – say two or three dollars?  This process change will allow us consumers to create an epic burrito/bowl concoction that we’ve only lusted for in our dreams.  Please help us make it a reality.
2. First-Time Visitor Line: Do us all a favor and create a segregated line for first-time visitors.  Trust me, it’s for the best for all Chipotle customers.  Chipotle virgins always arrive nervous and flustered as it is.  Do I want a burrito or a bowl?  Or a soft taco?  (It’s disgraceful to order a soft taco at Chipotle.)  What’s barbacoa?  Black or pinto? (Go black, you’ll never go back.)  Do I ask for the rice?? I think I want chicken, but maybe I should try steak???  You get the idea.  They’re confused and who can blame them?  We were all uncertain first-timers at some point.  On the other hand, seasoned burrito lovers know exactly what they want and can rattle it off without a second thought and don’t you dare short me on my side of guacamole!  Seriously, consider the second line.  Don’t think of it as discrimination, think of it more as initiation.
3. Self-Serve: As an addendum to item number 1, please consider letting us serve ourselves.  As mentioned in item number 2, we know we want exactly 21 nuggets of chicken – no more, no less.  Take the stress off your bowl assembly line and allow the real experts to create the works of art.  Then, train leftover assembly line workers as extra cooks.  You’ll need a much higher rate of chicken turnover now that your operations are going to be more efficient than ever.  It’ll work.  I’ve gotta feeling.

I hope that you’ll take my suggestions into consideration.  I have spent many hours deep in thought over my own bowls pondering the items above.  They come from heart because I only want what’s best for you and me.

Sincerely,

Chicken Burrito Bowl With Extra Black Beans And Less White Rice Lover

The Night I Left A 155% Tip

I’m think I’m like most people when it comes to tipping, in that, I generally always tip right around 20%.  If I receive truly poor service or rude service, I will definitely lower my tip.  Normal service generally constitutes the 20%.  If I’m having a good day, I might slip a 21% or 22% tip.

Last night, Lloyd and I had dinner at one of our favorite restaurants.  In fact, we go there so often, that one waitress in the bar recognizes us and even knows what I like to order.

When she came to greet us last night, her eyes were puffy and red and she looked a little sheepish compared to her usually vibrant self.  She apologized for our wait (which was pretty much non-existent) and then apologized again because she was “having a moment”.  I didn’t really grasp what she was saying because she asked us what she could get for us so quickly after that.

After she left, I realized she was having a bad night.  Whether it was an asshole customer, a bad bout of PMS, or a jerk boss, I’ll never know.  But what I do know is that I’m a girl and there is absolutely nothing worse than having a “girl moment” at work.

I’m no stranger to those once-a-month spells when I’m on the verge of tears whenever someone doesn’t smile back at me or when I get a dumb e-mail forward of a dog that adopted a little orphan piglet.  (Did you guys SEE that e-mail?  Geez, get me a tissue.)

I was so impressed that our teary-eyed waitress even tried to make small talk when she checked on us.  Our water glasses were never even half empty before she would come top them off again.  She was having a bad night and her service or attitude didn’t show it at all.  That’s pretty much nearly impossible to pull off when you just bawled your eyes out.

Lloyd and I normally go dutch, so my bill was a paltry $6.48.  She must have really tugged on my heart-strings because I left her a $10.00 tip.  That’s right, I left a 155% tip.

I may live my life on a budget and life below my means, but sometimes it’s better to make someone else’s day than your own.  Turns out, it ends up making your day anyway.  When I left the restaurant I was filled with just a small glimmer of excitement that my little gift of generosity may have made that girl’s night and ended whatever moment she may have been having.

New Record: Haven’t Eaten Out For Five Whole Days

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it on here before, but eating out is absolutely one of my most favorite activities.  Call it a luxury, call it lazy, call it expensive…either way, it’s practically a hobby for me.

Eating out IS expensive, so I try to keep it inexpensive by doing the following:

• Happy Hour – Many times I can get out of a restaurant with a tab under $10 – including meal and a drink – during the happy hour.
• Splitting with Lloyd – How absurd are restaurant portions? We can order a $12 plate and be completely full afterwards and we’re each only $6 in the hole.
• Restaurant.com – Lifesaver.  Not even kidding.  This website saves me a lot of money.
• Signing Up Online – If you sign up to receive e-mails on the restaurant’s website, you’ll generally get a friendly helping of coupons.

So, to end my 5 day streak of not eating out, I’m going to celebrate with none other than a streak of eating out:

• Thursday – happy hour with friends!
• Friday – Lloyd and I like to go out to dinner just the two of us on Friday nights if we don’t already have plans.  The game plan for Friday is a coupon for an appetizer & splitting a plate.
• Saturday – I offered to bring a pizza to a relative’s house for the evening.  Well, hello there $2.00 off Papa Murphy’s coupon.
• Sunday –  Lloyd and I have already decided to order Chinese from our favorite Chinese restaurants and watch Mad Men to prepare for the work week.  I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t have a coupon.  BUT, in my defense, splitting Chinese is pretty cheap since they give you SO much food.  It will probably set me back $10 bucks.
• Monday – (oh yes, I’m still going) I should get my score for my second CPA test on Monday (fingers crossed!) and I’m either going to celebrate or have an ugly cry in my beer. 😉

How do YOU save when eating out?

Cheers!

Happy Hour At Granfalloon Did Not Win Me Over

 I had yet another work happy hour at the Country Club Plaza last night.  I think I’ve mentioned the Plaza (pronounced “Plahhh-zahh”) in some earlier posts.  It’s a more prestigious area in Kansas City, yet somehow boasts the cheapest happy hours of all.  Tomfooleries happy hour is one of my favs.

Last night, we picked the popular Granfalloon Bar & Grill for the get together (AKA get tipsy and loudly nickname the oddballs in our office.  “Birdwoman” and “Jersey” were a product of last night’s session.).

For starters, our waitress was horrible.  She did not smile once.  Now, I’ve never been a waitress, but I’m pretty sure smiling or acting somewhat friendly are in the job description.

Secondly, the food “special” was a select few of the appetizers for $5.00.  Yes, you read that right.  Note to Granfallon:  That’s a horrible special.

It wasn’t even the full appetizer menu.  The first two appetizers I tried to order weren’t even on the “special”.  I finally decided on “Gator Tators” which is code name for potatoes with their insides scooped out and replaced with melted cheese.  Served with a side of Sour Cream.